Imagine getting paid to do your hobby, something you love. Sounds like a dream, right? But now, imagine getting bored of that hobby, wanting to explore new things, but being unable to because your hobby is no longer just yours. It’s now tied to your responsibilities, shaped by your boss’s needs. Suddenly, it’s not so much a hobby anymore, is it? It feels more like a cage.

My Hobby

If you know me, you already know what I do for a living and what my hobby is. And the answer to both questions has always been the same—software engineering. Why? Well, it’s simple:

I can do whatever I want with my knowledge. The endless possibilities and the freedom to create.

These always drew me in.

Front-end engineering, in particular, became my canvas. From design mockups to user experiences, bringing them to life always felt like an art form. That process of translating vision into function? It’s my comfort zone.

Time Allocation

In a typical 24-hour day, I’d spend about 13 hours coding: 5 for my job, 5 for my side projects, and another 3 researching new ideas. That left me with 11 hours for everything else. Three hours for downtime—playing guitar, gaming, just unwinding—and 8 hours of sacred, undisturbed sleep (a must for keeping my sanity intact).

Weekends? Saturdays were my only real break—time for a date with my girlfriend or, if plans fell through, more coding. Sundays, though? Straight back to the grind, with 8 hours of side projects.

How does that sound to you? Exhausting? To me, it wasn’t. I genuinely enjoyed every moment of it—until one day, I didn’t.

The Burnout

After getting laid (off), I threw everything I had into my side projects, pushing myself at 200% just to recover both financially and mentally. I told myself,

“If I can finish this project, I’ll be okay. I’ll prove that I still have what it takes, and it’ll pay off.”

And in just two months, I completed the second phase of the project. But something strange happened after that. The moment I was done, I lost my ability to think clearly about software engineering. Simple tasks at my new job suddenly felt overwhelming. I started procrastinating—writing this blog instead of doing my actual work, for example. I had lost the spark, the excitement, the passion.

As of today, September 16, 2024, this feeling still lingers. And honestly? I hate it. I hate me for feeling this way, because this… this isn’t me.

Seeking Help

Desperate for answers, I turned to my dad, my close friends, even a therapist. I needed to know: What the hell happened to me?

The response was always the same:

fatigue and burnout

Before all of this, I used to scoff at those words. I thought they were just excuses for laziness or incompetence. But now? Now I know better. I’ve been humbled. This is real. And their advice was consistent:

Get a new hobby and do some exercise.

So, I’m halfway there. I started exercising in the mornings, cutting my side project time down to just 3 hours. As for a new hobby? Well, that’s where my dream guitar comes in. (Okay, I’ll be honest—it was a coping mechanism after getting laid (off).) I’ve been learning some guitar techniques, like major scales, pinch harmonics, and dive bombs. Or even just trying to get my damn pinky to cooperate with my brain—seriously, it has a mind of its own sometimes.

So Long, Comfort Zone

All of this has led me to one undeniable conclusion:

Software engineering is no longer my hobby

Maybe it never should have been in the first place.

I’ve learned from a lot of people that mixing work with what you love can be dangerous. Once your hobby becomes a job, it’s no longer a hobby—it’s a responsibility. And for me? That responsibility took away the joy.

So here I am, at the end of an unexpected journey. I’ve left my comfort zone behind.

And while it’s scary, I know it’s what I need.