You might be wondering a few things:

“Why bring back this website?”

“Why have you gone dark on X (formerly known as Twitter)?”

"Where are your Instagram stories?".

Well, buckle up. The past few months? A complete rollercoaster. Let’s just say, life didn’t just throw me a curveball—it launched a whole freakin’ storm. I lost my direction, someone I loved, and the dream job I’d worked my ass off for. I just couldn’t deal with it all, and honestly, posting online was the last thing on my mind. Why rant or shitpost when everything feels like it’s crumbling around you, right?

Escaping Social Media

But honestly, social media didn’t help either. In fact, a big reason I ditched it was because I dreaded those innocent questions. You know the ones: “How’s the job?” “Still with your girlfriend?” “When’s the wedding?” Instagram especially became a battlefield of these awkward, intrusive questions.

And X? Yuck. Let’s just say, scrolling through X was like signing up for a daily dose of negativity. The more I scrolled, the more I realized it wasn’t good for me. It was like being trapped in a sea of people fighting for clout, with the drama and hostility slowly eating away at my peace of mind.

I was stuck. And I didn’t know how to get unstuck.

Hitting Rock Bottom

It got to the point where I had no one to trust, no one to talk to. The weight of it all felt too heavy, so what did I do? The classic unhealthy solution—I turned to alcohol. Twice a week, I’d get drunk just to numb the pain, even if only for a few hours. It didn’t solve anything, but at least it helped me forget for a bit.

I felt lost. Completely adrift.

The Turning Point

Then, out of nowhere, my dad stepped in. It wasn’t even a heart-to-heart moment like you see in the movies. One day, he just asked me to tag along while he got gas. No big deal, right? But while we were driving, we started talking. He didn’t know how bad things had gotten for me, but at some point, he hit me with something I didn’t expect:

“You can always get back to the roadmap you’ve written. Don’t be afraid to continue your life. As long as I’m still alive, you’ve got me on your side. Cheers, bro.”

I know. Sounds like something ripped from a Hallmark movie, right? But in that moment, those words hit hard. It was a simple reminder that I wasn’t as alone as I thought I was. He didn’t offer some grand solution, but he listened. That mattered. Sometimes, that’s all you need.

A New Perspective

That conversation was a wake-up call. I realized how much I had been drifting—away from my plans, away from family. It became clear: I needed to reprioritize. Family first. Everything else could wait.

With that in mind, I dusted off my old roadmap. Remember those life plans we all make? Yeah, mine needed some updates. (Getting married by 27? LOL, let’s just scratch that off for now.) But I had a clear mission—start over and find my direction again. Step one? Get a new job.

The Climb Back Up

It wasn’t easy. There were months filled with anxiety, self-doubt, and endless applications. But eventually, it paid off. I landed a new job. Two months in now, and I can honestly say it’s been a game-changer. My teammates are great, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I’m excited to share ideas and see them come to life. It’s been fun—something I thought I’d lost along the way.

Treating Myself

Of course, after making it through the worst of it, I decided I deserved a little reward. So, I went ahead and bought my dream guitar: Schecter C-1 FR S SLS Elite Evil Twin.

It’s got a lot of similarities to Synyster Gates’ guitar, and for anyone who knows me, that’s huge. Not that I couldn’t afford the actual Syn guitar, but this one? It’s like a perfect blend of what I love, with just enough of my own style. (Syn, if you ever see this, you’re still the reason I picked up a guitar in the first place, so thanks for that!)

Why Bring Back This Website?

You might’ve guessed it by now—I’m done with all the noise. That’s why I turned off Instagram comments, completely uninstalled X, and chose to come back to my own space. It’s not just about going dark; it’s about taking control of my story. I’ve had enough of dealing with people who don’t know the full picture of my life asking those annoying, loaded questions like, “How’s the job? Still with your girlfriend? When are you getting married?”

I decided I want less interaction with the people who don’t really know me. The only people who deserve my full story are the ones who truly care—like my dad and a few close friends. So here I am, back in this quiet corner of the internet, where I decide who knows what.

What’s Next?

Where do I go from here?

Well, I’m focusing on being me. Refining my skills, getting my life back on track, and maybe hoarding a little wealth along the way. (Though honestly, I still have no clue what I’m saving it for. 😂)

But hey, the important thing is that the journey isn’t over. I’m back on the roadmap, even if there are a few detours. And this time? I’m doing it with my family right behind me.

Thanks for sticking around for the ride. More updates soon. Cheers. 🍻

PS: this was written through my hard times in the iOS journal app. I think this might be worth a read, especially if you're going through tough times too.